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My name is Charlotte Speak and I have #FOPO – fear of other people’s opinions.

I’ve seen a few people talk about their ‘word of the year’ on Insta (other social media channels are available) and it’s a band wagon I can definitely get on board with. Having explained on the squares that I’m not into resolutions (goals is what I’m about and yes they are different) the idea of a word hooked me in, so I thought I’d share mine – and I’d love to know yours.

I reckon a few of us have heard this phrase before, and probably mulled over what it means to us. When you put yourself on social media and share / over share (delete as appropriate), you’re entering into a world that is littered with cheerleaders, distant friends and perfect strangers.

I’m a big fan of Alison Perry and her ‘Not Another Mummy Podcast’, so when I saw she’d recently been in session with Lucy Sheridan (the world’s first comparison coach) I was intrigued and excited in equal measure. Just to give you a sense of how brilliant it was – I listened twice, the second time with a pen and paper.

Most things I thought about life with children have been ‘updated’ since actually having them – what’s that saying, ‘I used to be an incredible parent, then I had kids’….yeah that. I’d always been around babies and younger children since my early teens thanks to much younger sisters and cousins. I knew the realities would be different but I really was clueless when it came to figuring out what to do with our first little bundle when she arrived in the world.

My eldest starts school in September and I’m terrified. Not of the crying (mine) that will inevitably happen, not of the nerves (hers so far but I’ll definitely add to it), or the logistics (I probably should be) but I’m terrified I’ll mess it up. She’s about to go through a huge change and I know it’s our job as her parents to help her through it but what if we get it wrong? What if we give her the wrong advice?

One of the best light bulb moments I’ve had over the years was this one – that I can define my own version of success. I think I realised (and accepted it) after returning to the world of employment after having my first little girl, and now it’s one of the most common topics I talk to loads of people about – not just parents, but it seems to strike the biggest chord with them.

Back in April I was scouting through LinkedIn when I saw Lisa Unwin put up a post about her up coming book with Deb Khan ‘She’s Back – your guide to returning to work’. I messaged her to (cheekily) ask for one of the early copies she had – they were in high demand from people wanting to review but I managed to get my hands on one. It’s taken me a couple of weeks to read it, for reasons I’ll explain shortly, but I’m done now and I think there are a few people that will need to read this (and the book!)…

Play to your strengths. Do what you love, love what you do. Build your strengths and weaknesses will take care of themselves. The world is awash with helpful advice isn’t it? It’s also full of feedback, self-doubt, real or perceived judgement, discrimination and struggle.