The first few weeks with our little lady weren’t that easy because both she and I found breastfeeding pretty tough so some of our initial days together were spent back in hospital, but very definitely still in a bubble.
At the end of October 2015 we found out I was pregnant with our second baby. On December 4th 2015 we found out that rather than being the 10 weeks pregnant I thought I was, I had in fact had a miscarriage.
Maybe she had worn herself out or maybe as I relaxed so did she. I rarely react to comments like we had at this meal in that way – I try to think if people wanted a meal without kids around they wouldn’t go to a family restaurant that’ll be packed full of them, so whilst I would never let my kids run riot or just leave them to cry, there’s only so much you can do with a tiny tot.
I am horrendously bad at asking for help. I am the living version of the phrase ‘it’s easier to do it myself’. I’ve known this for about 10 years now, and whilst I’ve had pockets of time where I’ll really face into it and get a grip I’ve never managed to nail it.
The further into adulthood I’ve moved I’ve begun to realise something – all the spares, the ‘just in case’ packs of goodness knows what and the stock piled cleaning products have started to have a detrimental impact on me. I was surrounded by clutter and it was cluttering my brain. There’s probably an official name for it (will google at some point) but when there’s too much material ‘stuff’ around me I can become borderline miserable.
Before we had bambinos we were in the camp of playing it fast a loose when it came to the big ‘R’ word…routine. We’d seen friends and family take different approaches, and come to a conclusion that the kid would just fit around us / get herself into her own kind of routine. Ha, boy were we in for a shock!
I’m not always kind, or understanding and there are many topics that at the mere mention will light my touch paper and you’ll see me come back down a week later. However, I try every day to be the best version of me.
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